Comparing and How It Disempowers Us
You’ve probably, at some point in your life, compared yourself with others and ended up feeling inferior or inadequate.
Maybe you envied someone for his looks, his social skills, his position, his talents, his popularity, his car, his fame, or his body. Most of us do this without really thinking about what we’re doing, but think about how often you do it.
Consistently comparing ourselves with others is very disempowering and can erode our confidence and self-worth. This stops us from achieving all that we’re capable of in life.
This is how comparing ourselves with others can hurt us:
Firstly, when we compare ourselves with someone and it makes us feel inferior, we may feel that we should be achieving the same results. Now this sounds like a positive thing - if envy can drive us to fulfill the same goals, then why not?
Well, envy and inferiority are such powerful emotions that it can make us feel as though besides our goal, everything else is unimportant, even our loved ones, or values like honesty and integrity, even human life. Dictators and other power-hungry individuals have often been driven by envy and self-loathing to reach the pinnacle of power by all means necessary.
Envy and inferiority also cause us to blindly pursue aims that in the end, we may find we really didn’t want in the first place. Our focus had been on other people’s goals, what they’d wanted, what they’d achieved. Lost in a cloud of envy, we failed to think about our own aspirations.
Think about the people you might be envying - that millionaire entrepreneur, that influential politician, that top housing agent, that up-and-coming actor, that hot young athlete. Deep down inside, is that what you really want to be? Would you be willing to sacrifice your own passions, values, and integrity to gain what they’ve gained? Would you be able to give up what they’d given up in order to achieve their goals? Would you really be happy if you had what they have?
When comparing ourselves with others makes us feel inadequate, we are also less likely to take action to see how much we are capable of. When we feel and think small, we’re less likely to venture out, in case we get trampled on. It’s much easier to say “I’ll never be able to do that!” than actually taking a risk and making an attempt. But we can only reach our potential by trying and taking risks and keeping at it.
If you truly want to be happy and successful, stop comparing yourself with others. Blindly chasing other people’s definitions of success can never make you happy. Think about your own definition of success. Pursue and live your own version.
A Slice of Life is written, produced and presented by Eugene Loh unless otherwise stated. If you wish to share the scripts with others, please credit ‘Eugene Loh, 938LIVE, a station of MediaCorp Radio’.
